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Church Doctrine |
Inconsistent Messages Internalized by Girls and Women in the Church |
Applying Our Doctrine |
| 1 |
ETERNAL PROTOTYPE
“We honor woman when we acknowledge Godhood in her eternal Prototype.”
– Mother in Heaven, Gospel Topics Essay [1] |
The Gospel Topics Essay affirms that Heavenly Mother is our eternal Prototype. A prototype is who you are patterned after and who you can become. However, without much emphasis, celebration, or application of the doctrine of Heavenly Mother, the Church is inadvertently teaching that it’s not very important for girls and women to know much about their eternal prototype. If the Church teaches that it’s not important to know much about Heavenly Mother, girls and women internalize the message that their role and eternal destiny isn’t very important. |
The Church can more fully teach our cherished doctrine that Heavenly Mother is a God, and that She is what girls and women can become! There is so much that we already know about Heavenly Mother through the teachings of modern-day prophets and apostles, found in the Gospel Topics Essay. This doctrine could be included in all manuals, magazines, and publications the Church uses to teach members. |
| 2 |
THE NATURE OF GOD
“If men do not comprehend the character of God, they do not comprehend themselves.”
–Joseph Smith [2] |
Understanding the nature of God is vital. And the restored gospel teaches that God consists of a Heavenly Father and a Heavenly Mother united.
“There never was a God, and there never will be in all eternities, except they are made of these two component parts; a man and a woman; the male and the female.” –Erastus Snow [3]
If women don’t understand the character of Heavenly Mother, they cannot comprehend themselves. But again, women are given the impression that understanding Heavenly Mother isn’t essential. |
No prophet or apostle has ever taught we should not speak of Heavenly Mother. The false teaching of a “heavenly hush” has damaged members for decades. If the Church leaders spoke more freely of Heavenly Mother, this taboo would continue to dissolve and the girls and women of the Church could truly comprehend their divine nature and character. |
| 3 |
OUR HIGHEST ASPIRATION
“Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has said, ‘Our theology begins with heavenly parents. Our highest aspiration is to be like them’.”
–Gospel Topics Essay
“As begotten children of heavenly parents, we are endowed with the potential to become like them, just as mortal children may become like their mortal parents.”
–Russell M. Nelson [4] |
How can we aspire to be like someone we’re not taught about regularly and don’t know well?
Because the Church also teaches that gender is essential and eternal, it is inconsistent and confusing to only tell girls and women that they should become like Jesus and Heavenly Father. |
If Heavenly Parents are the very beginning and the ultimate goal of our theology, then teachings, discussions, lessons, and applications about our Heavenly Parents should abound in our Church and faith. Let’s celebrate truth! |
| 4 |
SPIRIT CHILDREN OF HEAVENLY PARENTS
“The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches that all human beings, male and female, are beloved spirit children of heavenly parents, a Heavenly Father and a Heavenly Mother.”
–Gospel Topics Essay |
We know that we are all spiritual children of Heavenly Parents, but we almost always only hear that we are children of Heavenly Father. This inadvertently implies that Heavenly Mother’s role isn’t very important in the mortal lives of Her spirit children. Imagine if we discussed a family on earth… but didn’t mention the mother? |
The Church can consistently teach that we are all children of our Heavenly Parents, so that girls and women know that their eternal destiny is just as important as boys’ and men’s. |
| 5 |
THE VITAL INFLUENCE OF A MOTHER’S LOVE
“President Harold B. Lee stated, ‘We forget that we have a Heavenly Father and a Heavenly Mother who are even more concerned, probably, than our earthly father and mother, and that influences from beyond are constantly working to try to help us when we do all we can’.”
–Gospel Topics Essay
“Our Heavenly Parents’ love and concern for us continues to this very moment.”
–M. Russell Ballard [5] |
We teach Young Women that they should aspire to be mothers and that there is no higher calling than to be a mother. We talk unceasingly about the vital importance of an earthly mother’s love and devotion to her children. However, we almost always talk in the Church about only Heavenly Father’s love and concern for His children. This messaging is confusing for girls and women… if a mother’s love is so essential for earthly children, why is Heavenly Mother’s love not discussed as if it is absolutely essential to Her children? |
It is more doctrinally accurate to say that we are loved by both Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother. It helps people to know they have a Mother who loves them– for people who have lost their earthly mother, for people who don’t have a good relationship with their earthly mother, for people who need a mother’s love. All of us are blessed by being taught that Heavenly Mother loves us. |
| 6 |
THE DIVINE PATTERN FOR FAMILIES
“comprehend the divine pattern established for us as children of heavenly parents.”
–Gospel Topics Essay
“...there’s something equally sacred—something irreplaceable—about a parent nurturing a child. It reflects the pattern of heaven.” [6]
–Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf |
We believe that both earthly fathers AND mothers are irreplaceable. Do we feel the same about our Heavenly Father AND our Heavenly Mother?
The divine pattern of heaven includes a Mother. But it is hard to believe that this is true, when both Parents are rarely mentioned in manuals and Church meetings.
For the last several years, there has been almost zero mention of Heavenly Parents by Church leaders (only twice in Fall General Conference 2023). And our Church manuals are also mostly silent on Heavenly Mother.
If an earthly family is incomplete without a mother, why is an heavenly family complete without a mother being mentioned? Is the role of a mother interchangeable with the role of a father? If so, why is it important to have a mother at all?
The Gospel Topics essay affirms that Latter-day Saints believe in a divine pattern of Heavenly Parents– but we often leave out half the pattern. How can we build anything if we are missing half the pattern? |
The Church can include our doctrine of Heavenly Mother in all discussions about family structure.
The Church can teach “the divine pattern” established in the Gospel Topics essay.
The Church can teach that our earthly families are modeled after our heavenly family, and mothers are essential in both. |
| 7 |
PLAN OF SALVATION
“Prophets have taught that our heavenly parents work together for the salvation of the human family. “We are part of a divine plan designed by Heavenly Parents who love us,” taught Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.”
–Gospel Topics Essay |
If Heavenly Parents designed the plan of salvation, why is it almost always referred to by Church leader’s as Heavenly Father’s plan? We do not know the exact roles Heavenly Mother and Heavenly Father each played. But to discuss the plan of salvation as if Heavenly Mother has NO part in it is not only doctrinally incorrect but also hurtful to women looking to the eternal roles they might have. It is also harmful to men, as they are indirectly being taught that women are not true partners in the heavens. |
The Church can teach our doctrine that the plan of salvation was designed by Heavenly Parents, and Heavenly Mother plays an important role in that plan. We can always use the phrase, Our Heavenly Parents’ plan, when discussing the plan of salvation. |
| 8 |
ETERNAL WORK & GLORY
“I testify there is no greater goal in mortality than to live eternally with our Heavenly Parents and our beloved Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. But it is more than just our goal—it is also Their goal. They have a perfect love for us, more powerful than we can even begin to comprehend. They are totally, completely, eternally aligned with us. We are Their work. Our glory is Their glory. More than anything else, They want us to come home—to return and receive eternal happiness in Their presence.”
–M. Russell Ballard [7] |
The work of our heavenly family is always discussed in terms of a Father and a Brother– we almost always leave out that it is also the work of a Mother. Again, this is harmful to girls and women who need to know that women play important roles in the salvation of the human family. |
The Church can teach our doctrine that the exaltation of the human family is the work and the glory of Heavenly Mother as well as Heavenly Father. |
| 9 |
GENDER AND ETERNAL IDENTITY
“Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.”
–The Family: A Proclamation to the World [8] |
Girls, Young Women, and women are taught that their gender is eternal, but they are also taught the conflicting message that all they need for exaltation is to become like Jesus and their Heavenly Father. While certainly all human beings can progress by emulating traits from Jesus and Heavenly Father and Christ’s atonement is necessary for salvation, women will ultimately become like Heavenly Mother– not Jesus or Heavenly Father. So we must know more about Her! |
The Church can provide women a clearer vision of their “eternal identity and purpose” by teaching our doctrines about Heavenly Mother. |
| 10 |
GODHOOD
Our doctrine is that both men’s and women’s eternal destiny is to become a god, like our Heavenly Parents.
“Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, all people may ‘progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny’.”
–Becoming Like God, Gospel Topics Essay & The Family: A Proclamation to the World [9]
Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High.
–Psalms 82:6 |
The Church almost exclusively focuses on the male half of God. Again, this gives girls, Young Women, and women the impression that the female half of God and their own experience as an exalted being is secondary.
The Gospel Topics essay, “Becoming Like God,” states: “The doctrine of humans’ eternal potential to become like their Heavenly Father is central to the gospel of Jesus Christ and inspires love, hope, and gratitude in the hearts of faithful Latter-day Saints.”
The godly potential for women to become like Heavenly Mother is missing in this essay!
When you search Godhood on churchofjesuschrist.org, women and Heavenly Mother are completely absent:
Godhood: See Eternal Life; Exaltation; Man, Men—Man, potential to become like Heavenly Father
It is devastating for many women that the Church describes Godhood as only male. |
Church talks and all online content can include the beautiful restored truths that God is a sealed couple–Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother united! Men and women have the potential to become like God– men like Heavenly Father and women like Heavenly Mother! |
| 11 |
EQUALITY IN MARRIAGE
“Susa Young Gates, a prominent leader in the Church, wrote in 1920 that Joseph Smith’s visions and teachings revealed the truth that ‘the divine Mother, [is] side by side with the divine Father’.”
–Gospel Topics Essay
“We need each married sister to speak as a contributing and full partner as you unite with your husband in governing your family.”
–Russell M. Nelson [10] |
Our doctrine is that Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother are side by side. However, the style guide for the Church now uses lower case for “heavenly parents.” This indicates that when Heavenly Father is paired with Heavenly Mother, they together become less godly (because we always capitalize the name of God). This can lead women to believe that while they are encouraged to be equals to their husbands in this life, perhaps they will be demoted in the next.
Our teaching materials often don’t show women as equals even in this life. We still actively teach in Church materials that a woman's role is behind her husband rather than a “co-equal” as the Proclamation on the Family states.
The Church’s Family Guidebook even refers to a wife as the “counselor” to her husband: “While the father is the leader in the home, “his wife is his most important companion, partner, and counselor.” A husband and wife must work together to strengthen their family and teach their children the principles of the gospel. By fulfilling her role as counselor to her husband, a woman can reinforce her husband’s position as head of the home and encourage greater family unity.” [11]
While this is only one quote, a quick survey of quotes on marriage on the Church’s website overwhelmingly supports the fallen world’s model of women being subordinate to men, not our Heavenly Parents’ “divine pattern” of equal partnership. Married couples should counsel together.
Most men and women in marriages throughout the world are not yet equal partners. While this is true everywhere, the inequality in marriage is especially egregious outside of the USA. By not teaching our doctrine of Heavenly Mother working “side by side” with Heavenly Father, we continue to exacerbate harmful cultural relations between men and women. |
The Church can align all manuals and materials on its website with our doctrine. Perhaps some articles need to be deleted or disclaimers added that inequality is not our doctrine. While we do not want to be accused of “hiding” historical ideas, we also don’t want to inadvertently propagate false doctrine. Perhaps a site dedicated to previous talks that no longer align would accomplish the goal of only teaching current doctrine. (This could be true for racial information as well.) |
| 12 |
MOTHERS ARE ESSENTIAL
“Because mothers are essential to God’s great plan of happiness, their sacred work is opposed by Satan, who would destroy the family and demean the worth of women. You young men need to know that you can hardly achieve your highest potential without the influence of good women, particularly your mother.”
–Russell M. Nelson [12]
"To a Mother in Heaven, I say, 'Thank you for your crucial role in fulfilling the purposes of eternity.'"
–Jeffrey R. Holland [13] |
Mothers are in eternal relationships with their children. Being sealed in the temple is intended to create eternal bonds between parents and children. If earthly mothers are eternal and essential to their children, then why do we not honor the same relationship with our Mother in Heaven? Why do we not emphasize our eternal and essential relationship with Her? Earthly mothers are essential but Heavenly Mother is not?
If Heavenly Mother’s role is crucial, as taught by Elder Holland, why do we rarely talk about it? Or express gratitude for Her fulfilling the purposes of eternity? For several years, the Church showcases a video on Father’s Day showing gratitude for having a Father in Heaven. No such video was made about Mother in Heaven for Mother’s Day.
Leaving Heavenly Mother out is confusing and hurtful to women who are taught to believe that motherhood is essential. Leaving Heavenly Mother out of our gospel conversations “demeans the worth of women.” |
The Church can celebrate Heavenly Mother as essential.
The Church can more clearly emphasize Heavenly Mother’s crucial role in the purposes of eternity, alongside Heavenly Father’s.
The Church can share content highlighting our doctrine of Heavenly Mother: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTxLR_swmcY |
| 13 |
WOMEN ARE ACTIVE PARTICIPANTS
“My dear sisters, whatever your calling, whatever your circumstances, we need your impressions, your insights, and your inspiration. We need you to speak up and speak out in ward and stake councils. …
“So today I plead with my sisters of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to step forward! Take your rightful and needful place in your home, in your community, and in the kingdom of God—more than you ever have before.”
–Russell M. Nelson [14] |
The Church teaches women that they should not be silent partners in their marriages, churches, or communities. However, we make Heavenly Mother silent by not acknowledging Her participation in the plan of salvation and in the ongoing work of our lives. If Heavenly Mother does not have a role, does any woman in the eternities? |
A mother tongue is a language a person is comfortable and fluent in. If we are the children of Heavenly Mother, then we should be comfortable speaking of Her. The Church can develop a “mother tongue” where it is normal to speak of Her in doctrinally accurate ways. |
| 14 |
YOUNG WOMEN ARE BELOVED DAUGHTERS OF HEAVENLY PARENTS
“The Young Women theme begins, ‘I am a beloved daughter of heavenly parents, with a divine nature and eternal destiny.’ This statement contains four important truths. First, you are a beloved daughter. Nothing you do—or do not do—can change that. God loves you because you are His spirit daughter. Sometimes we may not feel His love, but it is always there.”
–Dale G. Renlund [15]
“First of all, I want you to be proud you are a woman. I want you to feel the reality of what that means, to know who you truly are. You are literally a spirit daughter of heavenly parents with a divine nature and an eternal destiny. That surpassing truth should be fixed deep in your soul and be fundamental to every decision you make as you grow into mature womanhood. There could never be a greater authentication of your dignity, your worth, your privileges, and your promise.”
–Jeffrey R. Holland [16] |
The Young Women theme teaches the doctrinal truth that Young Women are beloved daughters of Heavenly Parents. However, the theme is one of the rare places where this truth is regularly mentioned. This truth is not in our Sunday discussions, youth manuals, or talks. We lose this vital truth when we only teach Young Women that they are loved by Heavenly Father, and make no mention of Heavenly Mother’s love. For a Young Woman trying to anchor herself in her divine destiny, this is a gaping hole of who she will become.
Young Men also do not have an opportunity to appreciate the richness of the fullness of the gospel in their own theme that makes no mention of being a son of Heavenly Parents. |
More than any other group, Young Women need to know they are loved by their Heavenly Mother. They are at a point in their life when they desperately need strong female role models to pattern their life and make strong choices. The Church can celebrate the inspired Young Women’s theme by teaching of the love from both Heavenly Parents.
The Church could also update the Young Men’s theme to include our Heavenly Parents, so that Young Men grow up understanding the divinity of women, the necessity of partnership for exaltation, and that women are their equals. |
| 15 |
THE TEMPLE
“In the temple, we learn who we are and where we have been. The Roman philosopher Cicero said, ‘To be ignorant of what occurred before you were born is to remain always a child.’ He was, of course, referring to secular history, but his astute observation can be expanded. We live as perpetual children if we are ignorant of the eternal perspective gained in temples.”
–Dale G. Renlund [17] |
In our current temple ceremony, women are not given a vision of a woman’s role in the premortal life or in the eternities. There are only depictions of men’s roles. Therefore, Young Women and women assume that their role and influence isn’t very important in the premortal realm or in the afterlife. Are women living as perpetual children?
Also, Latter-day Saint girls and women are taught that their crowning spiritual gift is the power to create and bring forth life. However, in the temple, the creation of the earth and the human family is portrayed as accomplished entirely by men. This is devastating for women to be left entirely out of the creative process in our most sacred spaces. |
The Church can include Heavenly Mother in the temple ceremony where doctrinally accurate. |
| 16 |
HEAVENLY MOTHER IS A CHERISHED DOCTRINE
“The doctrine of a Heavenly Mother is a cherished and distinctive belief among Latter-day Saints.”
–Gospel Topics Essay |
The Church’s website states that our doctrine of Heavenly Mother is cherished, but we do very little to show that in practice.
In fact, when an area authority bans all ward and stake gatherings from discussing Heavenly Mother, it is abundantly clear this doctrine is NOT cherished.
If Heavenly Mother isn’t cherished, then the role of girls, Young Women, and women might not truly be either. |
The Church can talk about Heavenly Mother in ways that feel cherished– not taboo, speculative, or problematic. |
| 17 |
VISION FOR WOMEN
“Much of the major growth that is coming to the Church in the last days will come because many of the good women of the world … will be drawn to the Church in large numbers. This will happen to the degree that the women of the Church reflect righteousness and articulateness in their lives and to the degree that the women of the Church are seen as distinct and different—in happy ways—from the women of the world.”
–Spencer W. Kimball [18] |
Women are the most distinctive and differentiated from the world’s definition when they have a clear vision of their eternal destiny. Right now, that vision is undermined. |
The Church can utilize Heavenly Mother to provide a vision for women of the Church and the world. The “Mother in Heaven” gospel essay states: “this understanding is rooted in scriptural and prophetic teachings about the nature of God, our relationship to Deity, and the godly potential of men and women.” The Church can hold up Heavenly Mother as the model for women’s eternal destiny. |
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