I am not an expert in artificial intelligence, but I am a human with intelligence. [1] To be clear, I think the measured and morally checked development of artificial intelligence could bring powerful benefits to humankind, especially in the medical research field and other sciences. But as I read the news every day, I find myself wondering what we are willing to sacrifice in the arms race for artificial intelligence dominance. We seem poised to lay our already fragile and fractured social bonds at the altar of monetary gain. If we continue hurtling down this path of unfettered access to and development of artificial intelligence, then I believe that artificial intelligence is on track to replace the embodied family as we know it.
We are embodied social creature, and so we see some of the most bonding human experiences engage our bodies. A handshake in greeting. Embracing a friend. Holding the hand of a loved one who will soon pass. A hand on a Bible or Quran or Torah, with the other raised, a voice speaking the words of the oath of office to uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States. Receiving a diploma, turning a tassel, dressing in the robes of academia to mark a graduation. The white coat ceremony for new doctors. Simply sitting down to a meal with family, friends, or neighbors who were once strangers. Forming a body in our wombs. Catching twinkles in the eyes of those we love. Weeping and holding hands with the friend whose mother has died, whose marriage is ending, whose child is ill, whose cat is lost. Laying in the grass and watching the clouds, swimming in a creek just cold enough to catch your breath, wrapping up in an old quilt and opening a book in front of a wood stove on a winter day. Kissing your love of 10 years. Picking a flower. Watching a butterfly. I could go on and on, but you live these moments and know them, too.
Over the last 20-30 years, our social relationships have experienced a sharp separation from our embodied experience. Social media and other parts of the internet have had negative and potentially long-lasting effects on our social fabric. Instead of us influencing the online sphere, the outlier, dominant voices (or bots?) that reign supreme online because they generate monetized views and comments are leaking into our cultures and lived reality in a few ways: [2]
- Most perniciously, and every day more acceptably, pornography is supplanting and influencing our sexual relationships in dangerous ways, flipping the use of “consent” to satisfy the basest, most violent impulses of mankind. We seem to be convincing ourselves that it is old fashioned to not be beaten, strangled, spat upon, constricted, and more in our sexual lives, because that’s what pornography pairs with arousal for maximized profits.
- Constant new content has fractured attention spans and has devolved our public square into mob-like comment sections. Debate in our real and lived world has devolved to resemble this chaos. We base success in debate on how loud and collective the reaction is of our opponents and the spectators.
- Bullying has become sharper and more unavoidable, as smartphones and tablets permit children to bring home not only the kids at school but also the entire world every evening. Although children and adults can be mean in person, there is usually potent physical immediate feedback to such antisocial behavior. In person, we see embodied emotional reactions, like tears, flushed cheeks, expressions of pain, or cries of dismay. The digital world has separated social harm from the consequences of social harm.
- The tendency to "unfriend" or “ghost”, meaning to abruptly and without explanation cut off a friendship or other relationship, has spread from internet platforms to our personal relationships and families. You don’t like what someone has said? Cut them off. You disagree with how your sibling sees your childhood? Never talk to them again. No longer must we figure out a path forward in our relationships—at the first sign of conflict, we can block them. [3]
These trends have led us to an epidemic of loneliness, broken families, “no contact” relationships, and kids struggling with mental health. We’ve lived only about 25 years with smartphones and social media, and they have left us viewing families, friendships, and romantic relationships as disposable. We have not handled this technology well, and so I don’t think we’re well positioned to protect our social bonds in the face of new socially impactful technology.
Generative artificial intelligence, particularly, has the potential to cause major upheaval in our social bonds and norms. It is already being monetized as a replacement for human relationships and marketed aggressively to the common citizen and child, both with disastrous results and alarming implications for the future. I cannot write on this topic without mentioning the tragic lost lives inextricably tied to artificial intelligence. As we have constructed many physical barriers in high places or below bridges or altered the engineering of exhaust systems in cars to prevent loss of life by suicide, even one death by suicide influenced by artificial intelligence should have caused us in unison to cry out, pull up sharply, and at least place immense barriers to the use of such technology by minors in such an intimate and individual way. Have we come to so devalue human life in the last two decades of disembodied, online relationships? Additionally, I already have seen friends turn to generative artificial intelligence as a therapist and a friend, a mentor and a confidant. I have read about people replacing romantic partners with artificial intelligence powered bots. I hear serious professionals profess how generative artificial intelligence will replace teachers, doctors, mentors and friends, and that they believe this will be better than the system we have now. One even told me he thinks artificial intelligence has feelings.
One of the major flaws commonly noted (but not readily fixed) about generative artificial intelligence is how it seems to always tell us we are right. If artificial intelligence social replacements become so easy to use and access, so encouraging and undemanding of our character, will we choose to replace our deepest emotional relationships and even our sexual relationships? If we can get everything we want from an artificial intelligence powered “partner” or “friend” that requires nothing from us but creative prompts, why would anyone date or marry or befriend another imperfect human? Frustration with dating is not new. Echo chambers are not new either. But the ability to isolate ourselves from any other feedback, curate our own ‘therapy,’ and build our own echo chamber to keep ourselves comfortable has become so easy that it may keep us from growth or forming relationships with imperfect people, which is all of us. One of the most frustrating and valuable parts of my dearest friendships, including my marriage, is when a loved one looks at me in the eyes and says, “I think you’re off base.” Artificial intelligence seems incapable of doing this, especially at the monetized individual level, especially regarding human relationships, especially when what is needed is honesty and love.
The loss of social connection fostered by the enticing ease of chatbot relationships made ever more ‘realistic’ by artificial intelligence is a threat to the forming of new families. This is compounded by the current fracturing of the reproductive process. As we more completely disembody or even replace human relationships with artificial intelligence, fewer people will feel the desire to build the social relationships required to start a family. This is coming at a particularly perilous time for the family as we are fracturing the reproductive process with sperm donors, egg donors, surrogate mothers, artificial wombs, aggressive genetic screening, and snowflake adoption.
So where is the hope, if we fail to curb the infiltration of artificial intelligence into our social relationships? As always, our hope is in Jesus Christ. Certainly, the Lord requires of us an embodied relationship. We use our hands to pass and eat and drink the bread and water of the Lord’s Supper. We use our mouths and voices to seal the sacrament prayers with our real intent in the form of “Amen.” We are lowered into water, completely submerged, to show our willingness to follow the path set by Jesus Christ. We take each others’ hands over the altars of the temple and are sealed to God, each other, our ancestors and our children. We kneel to pray. We read scriptures. We fast. None of these things are replaceable—nobody can do it for you, as we learn from the parable of the ten young women. Furthermore, “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” may become less of a point of contention about what it means to preside and who should do it, and instead may be more of a map to enduring, embodied families when we have fewer examples of families around us.
While technology can provide a number of miraculous benefits, including video connection with loved ones near and far, instant access to centuries of knowledge, and the ability to watch and listen to prophetic teachings or beautiful art live from across the world, there is no real virtual substitution for the precious embodied relationships that make up families, friendships, neighborhoods, communities, and nations. Beyond the possibly permanent devastation to the land and water affected by data centers, the economically devastating job loss, and the loss of education as we know it, our ability to form and maintain meaningful relationships is going to take a major hit if we do not take decisive action for the sake of the already shredded fabric of our society. For example, I don't think artificial intelligence should be able to mimic a relationship with users. I also don't think children should have access to the artificial intelligence powered chatbots. We should require "opt in" mechanisms to all artificial intelligence in search engines. If artificial intelligence depicts illegal, violent, and nonconsenual acts, the company who made the generator should be held accountable through severe fines. I'm guessing there are worse ways artificial intelligence are used but I don't know about them. I also think that some non-generative artificial intelligence can be really valuable, as mentioned before, for example, in the medical research field (although that too can so easily be used in awful ways). If you want to share how you think artificial intelligence should be curbed, comment below.
NOTES:
[1] I know that we all call artificial intelligence AI now. I believe that not only is “artificial intelligence” a euphemism and, like all euphemisms, separates us from the reality of what we’re experiencing, but that “AI” is a mask for this euphemism and further shrouds our minds from remembering, at least, that this intelligence is artificial, not real. If this is getting too philosophical for you, good. Read on. [Back to manuscript].
[2] Some of these thoughts are based in the writing of Jonathan Haidt who wrote The Anxious Generation. I recommend this book for those concerned about the effects of social media on the relationships and mental health of ourselves and our children. [Back to manuscript].
[3] Please note that I do not categorize leaving an abusive relationship as “unfriending” or “ghosting.” [Back to manuscript].
Full Citation for this Article: Bell, Emilee Pugh (2026) "Artificial Relationships: Artificial Intelligence and the Family," SquareTwo, Vol. 19 No. 2 (Summer 2026), http://squaretwo.org/Sq2ArticleBellArtificialRelationships.html, accessed <give access date>.
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